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Cast your vote and let the gods—or lack thereof—decide your fate!
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Question of
What’s your go-to reaction when someone says, “I’ll pray for you”?
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“Thanks, that’ll definitely fix my life.”
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“Why stop there? Sacrifice a goat too!”
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“Cool, I’ll light a candle for Zeus just in case.”
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“Nothing like asking god to change his mind”
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Silently walk away
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Question of
If you had to choose a holy book to take to a deserted island, what would it be?
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The Bible – it’s long, and I’ve got time to kill.
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The Qur’an – for fire kindling.
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The Satanic Bible – for laughs.
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None – I’ll rely on Wilson.
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Question of
What’s the purpose of life according to you?
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To question everything, including this question.
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To see how many religions I can piss off.
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To enjoy life before a god smites me for fun.
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Who cares? Life’s meaningless, pass the wine.
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Question of
If the Rapture happens tomorrow, what will you do?
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Raid the homes of all the “saved” for free stuff.
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Wait for Jesus to stop by and ask, “You sure about this?”
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Start a new religion with me as the god.
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Same thing I always do: nothing.
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Question of
What do you think happens after we die?
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Heaven, if I’ve bribed the right deity.
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Eternal hellfire—I was probably born pre-damned.
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Reincarnation, hopefully into something with fewer taxes.
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Nothing—just sweet, quiet oblivion.
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Question of
If God spoke to you, what would *you* say?
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“Finally! I’ve got some complaints to file.”
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“What took you so long? I’ve been calling for years!”
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“LOL, wrong number.”
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Question of
What’s your opinion on organized religion?
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It’s a pyramid scheme, but with better branding.”
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“People are free to believe… as long as they leave me out of it.”
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“Great way to avoid taxes.”
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“Burn it all down and let the gods sort it out.”
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Question of
Which miracle would actually convince you God exists?
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A televangelist refusing a donation.
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World peace breaking out overnight.
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Me waking up on time without an alarm.
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None—it’s easier to believe in aliens.
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Question of
If you had to worship something, what would it be?
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Coffee—it’s the only thing that performs daily miracles.
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Science—it’s the closest thing we’ve got to magic.
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Cats—they act like gods anyway.
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Myself—I’m the only one who deserves it.
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